Christina Lovin

Writing Blindly

I am writing blindly.
–Dimitri Kolexnikov, of the doomed Russian
submarine, Kursk, in a letter to his wife

This is my dying
message. I am dying.
My message may live. I would
write in blood without
an instrument, with my finger-
nails, with intense pain on the stone
wall of my prison, the rusted
door of this crypt, inside
the coffin lid-scratches, clawings.
Symbols that are untranslatable
to calm eyes, unutterable
to steady voices.

I want to tell you to sing
because a song is sweeter
in the dark, to tell you the dark
is sweeter than light, that light
is sweeter than death, that death
is light when inhalation becomes
the rumor of a dead man’s
smile, and pulse
is a lie of rhythm;
when all that can be
written is the myth.

I am writing blindly
in the language of the living
who are already dead.

I am writing blindly.

Like all of us.

Christina Lovin is the author of the chapbooks, What We Burned for Warmth and Little Fires (# 55 in the New Women’s Voice Poetry Series from Finishing Line Press). An award-winning poet, her work is widely published and anthologized. Recently named the Emerging Poet by the Southern Women Writers’ Conference, she holds an MFA in Creative Writing from New England College. Lovin teaches college writing courses and presents writing workshops in and around Central Kentucky She is the recipient of several artists’ grants from the Kentucky Arts Council (most notably a 2007 Al Smith Fellowship) and the Kentucky Foundation for Women.